I was reading PostSecrets. I found many insightful messages that people send to strangers to be published as catharsis.
Does it really help if they don’t know it’s you?
I thought I would take a stab at it my way…
I will confess somethings out here. I feel safe doing this because I’m sure many people don’t read my blogs anyway. Seriously, I could put the link on Twitter, FaceBook and MySpace and very few would take the clicks to see what’s going on.
Isn’t isolation in plain view wonderful? 😀
so… some confessions out of context… all true. You can ask for the context, but I reserve the right not to provide it.
- I did love him for years even though I knew he didn’t care. I continued because it felt good to care for someone. Even now at quiet moments I think of him because that was the last time I put all of my heart into loving someone.
- Even at that age I knew what was happening wasn’t right, but knowing that I had that kind of power to hurt her was so very worth it at the time… now, I understand the power, but wished I had used it differently.
- I was homeless because I didn’t want the responsibility of life on my shoulders anymore. And if I didn’t have the girls, I would still be wandering the world.
- I have spent over 20 years trying to find my place in the world and I fear I will never find it.
- The question isn’t whether or nor I had the abortion (i did) the real questions (with an ‘s’) are: Do you really believe that my MoM had enough money to pay off an entire body of Elders as you claim? Who really had the power to keep an 7 men from doing their job? Maybe another Elder perhaps? And with that in mind, who WAS the father? We know the answers to all of those questions…
- I love one girl more because she is so very like me. I love the other more because she’s nothing like me.
- I married him because he was there and I wanted to run away.
- I married him because he was there and both wanted to run away.
- I married him because he loves me and knows how broken I am. He knows that I fell in love with another man but I never acted on it. He knows I’m afraid but he never shows fear. He knows I’m lost but has always given me time and space to find my way back. He loves me without question and that’s why I’m deathly afraid of him.
- I think that I have burned all of my bridges there and that saddens me because I wanted some of them on my team…
The more you confess, the more you want to; the lingering ghosts and demons that fight so to escape your mind. I feel better now that I’ve done this. Now let’s see what happens next.