a dip in the path

I got an email that shook me to my bones the other day.

I thought I was above such things. I thought that I could keep my emotions in check and be an adult about the entire situation.

but nonsuch.

I got the line from my professor:

“We need to talk about the work you have turned in so far.”

That’s it. That was all. But that was all that was needed to get all my blood running cold and my heart racing.

What did want to talk about?

What was wrong?

What had I missed?

I read everything that she wanted, put my heart into the work and the discussions, tried to keep my head above water.

 

I stressed, cried and moped. I saw my graduate school career fall apart in front of my eyes. All that time that could have been spent with the girls and Fable 2 was wasted. I mourned over my time and my future. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life. 

I decided to pick up the phone and me my doom ear to ear (face to face being impossible since I was fairly sure that she didn’t have a web cam).

I asked and braced myself for the answer.

“You have a tendency to reduce your arguments to there most simple easy to understand form.”

That’s truth and it made it easier

“I understand,” I could hear the smile in her voice “I used to do the same thing when I start grad school…”

She continued on to tell of her journalism background and how the lean, clear and concise method that serves there is the death of the academic.

“Our jobs now as academics is to ‘problemize’ the issue and to extend everything to argument”

I felt like helium. So light. So, so light…

We made an appointment and I looked over my sheets to see if there was anything I could do before we met.

The path is clear.

The katet is rounding and shaping… the members come and go, and I keep to my journey.

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Fable 2: The Official Time Suck of SiqueCountry

gone to Albion…be back soon!

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Sique’s open mind is a dangerous thing

I got this in the email this morning:

Hi all,

I’m going to get straight to the point in this email: I was very disappointed with the level of our class discussion last night. This is a graduate-level class and I am clear in the syllabus that I expect people to read the materials and to use class time to discuss those issues thoughtfully and with intellectual rigor. For the most part, I did not see that happening last night.

I suspect that our frequent forays into (only very) tangentially-related issues is the result of little preparation (reading) for class. If you do not read the materials for a particular class, please do not come to class. If you do not plan to read the materials for any of our classes, please drop the class. It is not fair to me or others who take discussions of rhetoric and composition seriously to come to class unprepared or with little respect for the seriousness of the issues we discuss.

I have been teaching graduate courses for over 10 years now and have never left a class as disappointed as I left our class last night. I have already heard from others who feel the same way. I am confident that the level of our discussion next week will reflect your interest and dedication to the course and respect for your colleagues’ learning.

Becky

I was so disappointed by this email. The class that night was alive and electric with conversation. While it did go off on tangents, there was such a rich space where thoughts, ideas and beliefs ran free.

I left the class feeling more confident about the Grad school experience than I did last week. There was frustration exhibited by some who wanted to slavishly adhere to the reading as far as it supported their theories and didn’t want to expand any further, but that’s so common it’s cliche.

But I assume that the professor didn’t believe that she couldn’t control it. 

So I got this.

‘But Sique’, you say ‘it looks like she sent it to a group. Why are you getting mad?’ 

I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the fact that it didn’t have CC or group tags on either the one I got at my private or school address.

‘But she may have sent it each one individually.’

Maybe, but I think that the whole situation was bad. I thought that Grad school was all about using readings to set points from where your own theories carve their own path.

And I still believe that.

And I told her that in my response. She didn’t answer. I am not surprised.

So I declare this email a FAIL and since I’m going to facilitate this week, I intend to go in with boom-boom a rocking.  

I’ll let you see the email I get next week too.

Sique

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Grad School has made me happy… already….

Ever have that feeling when you started school that you were going to make a complete and utter ass of yourself becasue you wern’t wearing the right kind of cloths?

That you weren’t smart enough to be a geek, was too clumsy to be a jock or cheerleader, and too well adjusted to be a punk, goth or emo?

That’s how I felt going into Grad School. I don;t have these grand dreams of being a top scientist or have these profound theories…

I just want to to learn to teach writing.

I thought I had to fight and mix and match to find my place; had to spend countless time trying to explain this dream over and over until people just rolled their eyes and left or i got tired.

 

NonSuch.

 

they actually get me here.

 

and what’s even better, they get what i want to say and they get my fear in saying it. 

i feel at home here.

even with the 15 pounds of reading that has to be done.

I’ll get used to that.

But it’s good to fit.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have about 6 pounds of reading this week to go.

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Greater Evil for All

Yeah...This is the cat I want running my country!Our nation is in trouble. The Economy. Iraq. Our Schools. Health Care.

Driven to the depths of despair.

Ruined by those too incompetent to know what they’re doing?

Why bother with inexperience?

Cthulhu record of destruction and ruin outdates the existence of mankind. His track record for human suffering and terror is unmatched.

Vote Greater Evil.

Vote Cthulhu.

I am Cthulhu, and I will eat your brain.

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You can go home again…if you are willing to learn.

I went home to my hometown to bury the center of the word, my grandmother. She was soldier, a politician, a matron and a crazy big sports fan. She was also the woman that cared for the ones that you cared for, knew the importance of culture and knowledge of the world and the importance of knowing yourself and your family.

So when I came home to bury her, I was apprehensive about what I how I would feel about the realization about the world without her.

I shouldn’t have been.

The measure of the effect of a person in your life is how you act when they aren’t around and will never find out.

I found that I will always remember the lessons learned from the streets even though I have a home in the suburbs and letters after my name.

I learned that I will never get so educated that I can’t sit, talk and have fun in the projects of 30th and Central.

I learned that I am a full grown woman and even the choices I made along the way weren’t always ideal in my hindsight, in the larger view of the world, every choice was a brick in the strong structure that I call my life.

…and in the end, I am a strong, well liked, respected, educated woman and the lessons that were taught and learned held up to the scrutiny of the toughest test of all.

going home.

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A Soft Goodbye

I lost my grandmother last night. She was a woman of education, of craft, of books and education.

I wanted to write something sweeping and beautiful about all the wonderful things she did for me.

I wanted to talk about the thin romance volumes, libraries, the politics of Cleveland, OH, the travel, the writing…

but the words wouldn’t come.

Not because the there weren’t words for those times, for there were entirely too many, but the things the were the best were the things that I really couldn’t talk about with anyone except her.

And I spent an incredible anount of time telling her how much I appriciated it before she couldn’t renemner me anymore.

So I’ll just say goodbye.

(bye)

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MeetUps mean liquid courage

I went to the podcasting meetup last night, which the reason for the late post. It was really informative and it made me want to get rolling as soon as possible.

The thing that gets me is that I couldn’t shake the whole “this is how I turn a buck on it and so can you” vibe of the whole thing.

I’m not mad at anyone whocan make some paper doing something they love, but the whole name dropping and “this is how I made the money” and the how to monetize (is that a word? for really?) podcasts left me with a feeling usually reserved for hot sticky days. or mud wrasslin’.

But for all of that I was made firm and I feel good about this. so I record, and starting next friday, there wwill be three new blogs up and this fall the podcasts will be ready to go:

–Book 100: Sique’s MFA at home course. She will cull and critique 100 books and tell you how they help (or keep from hindering ) her writing craft.

–Building Alazar: Sique’s audioblog that will chronicle her journey in building the Alazar Universe, where not only her stories live. From the history to magic systems to characters to structure. Watch as she skates and stumbles through the creation of her first world. For the first time out of her mind, at least.

I’ll keep you posted on how the meetups go and how everything else in my world offline is going too on this blog.

Talk you soon,

Sique

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99 dollars will start your world as you know it….

I did it and I’m glad…I think.

yeah, I am.

I bought the Behringer USB podcasting kit this week and starting working on the topics I want to cover…

Hmm…

The Book 100 is going well offline (15 books read so far) and I want to share what I have learned.

Just soss you know, the Book 100 was developed by Heather Sellers in her book, Chapter after Chapter. The belief is that the best way to write is to read (really read) 100 books of the genre that you want to write (and a few outside of it). I will go into more detail on the Book 100 blog, but now back to the subject:

The list will now include podcasted books.

The quality of the ones I have read so far have made me happy.

They have encouraged me, (not being published is not the end of the world!)

reassured me, (what I have is good enough to share)

and challenge me. (can I write 25, 55, 85, 105,000 words and read them? what about editing?)

We will see, won’t we?

The others are a bit more…blurry.

I want to do a worldbuilding blog and podcast called “Building Alazar” but the redhead and I are not seeing eye to eye on what the world should be. I’m considering doing the same for the Micah Leigh stories (“Griefeater” and “All Your Dogs are Belong to Us”), but the environment has to be enriched.

All the more reason to read the books….

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Hello world!…again

The beginning of a new blog.

Ta Daaaa!

The hope is that I’ll blog every week and and use this space to let you know how I’m getting along and the projects I have planned.

Talk to you soon!

Sique

 

 

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